Reality of this Goddess (from written journal)

Does this particular Goddess, possibly the only one, truly love me or have an interest in me? At first one may think that she does when she shows herself nude and sends images of love hearts or may even say it in your ears, because all of those things she did to me.

This Goddess, pretty sure it is the same one, names herself A*****, similar to the scriptures about Jehovah and the A***** poles. She regularly appears to me as a black-haired female in my minds eye. The following are minds eye visions/images that I had seen yesterday morning:

(Will or may not remember all of them.)

1.       Female appeared to me with yellow snake eyes and sharp pointy teeth with blood on them.

2.       The jet-black haired woman showed up again and showed herself nude laying in different postures. One time in the morning yesterday she was walking up a stairway with a behind view of her ass.

3.       This same black haired woman showed me images of her having sex with two different men, one at a time.

4.       I started fantasizing about protecting her with a shield to block her from getting struck by arrows.

5.       Between 1 and 2 was her showing me the same 5 pointed star again, which traversed in and out of being a six pointed star.

6.       I suddenly remembered that I actually fantasized about killing her in the otherworld. She suddenly looked at me with a surprised yet confused look as though she was saying “what the hell, where did that come from, I thought that we were getting along with each other?” Well I thought the same thing after she tried killing me. Why would she try doing something like that?

7.       After voicing my disgust at her actions, as soon as I remembered, and that I would be going with a human female instead, then I had seen a blonde female turn back at me with a grin. She had a large mouth with large teeth that were sharp and had some blood on them.

Then after all of this I realized that I cannot easily leave my woman of the otherworld because I started having a substantial love for her and viewed her higher and better than human females. She usually touches me gently on the legs and the groin area when she is enticed by me or is aroused. This stopped for 90% of the time, even after I told her of how I loved her.

This woman of the otherworld seems impossible. Many men talk of them having very good experiences with the women of the otherworld, however my woman of the otherworld has never even told me her name, only the ‘Venusian Goddess’ has told me her name. Unless this Goddess is the female of the otherworld, however seems far from it. It just seems that, similar to human females, she does not like me and does not get along with me.

This female of the otherworld never even talks to me anyway, even if she does it is with some man or older sounding female. I am starting to believe that we are not actually getting along and that I suspect that her ‘mother’ tried to kill me twice. Plus the woman of the otherworld said that she is only here because she was sent here and that she is in love with a different man.

On top of all of this I have friendship issues where my friends, best ones actually, have proven unreliable. So here is the situation:

·         Best friends are not really my friends anymore.

·         Otherworldly woman is seeing a different man and does not actually like me, as though this is just her job.

·         Goddess tries to kill me.

·         All of my opportunities and successes are being blocked and take away by the appearance and events of things.

·         I cannot get work, whilst everyone I know seems to, and enjoys life.

·         I no longer have faith in the religion of Jehovah’s Witnesses.

·         I am having more and more nightmares, possibly caused by this harlot Lilith.

·         I cannot even attain, not even close, a love with anyone, of the human world or the otherworld.

The only thing I have is my knowledge and belief in Jehovah. However love seems to have blinded me badly. This woman of the otherworld that showed herself yesterday was by definition Lamia who has also been called Lilith. I do not like this female.

Perhaps Jehovah has opened up my eyes to see the evil of the spirit world, just as I had asked in prayer. Nothing good comes out of them, and we do not even get along with each other anyway. The otherworld is just filled with unfaithful sluts and murderers. Getting involved with the otherworld does not look like a good idea at all, especially if I was to care about my life.

Hopefully God Jehovah can understand why I feel badly tempted. I have not been in a romantic relationship before and this female of the spiritual realm shows up out of nowhere taking an interest in me. After resisting her quite a bit, I thought about the opportunity I have and that I do not want to risk losing such a love of a lifetime.

However given the amount of bad luck in my life, maybe it is a warning saying that being with her is going to result in misery and pain, just like my former failed investments and business ventures. Sometimes we just need to know when we have to pull out, this time we are gambling our life. It also explains the rumour of how it appears that women of the otherworld and the Succubi like risk takers and ex-military personnel. This would make them easy targets I think. In my past I have been a bit of a risk taker.

After all, it may not be worth being loyal to her regarding romance, it would probably lead to very bad things, one of them being Lilith. Well, now I do hate Lilith very much. For Lilith to act surprised, as though she did not know, is something that I am not buying into. Lilith knew that I did not even know who A***** was hence why she chose that name for me to google search and find out. This means that she is constantly observing me or getting information about me. Hence, with something as serious as me nearly dying? And me wanting to destroy her once I get into the otherworld? How could she miss that, if she can even notice the smaller aspects of me and my knowledge? Because she is the Queen of Bullshitting, not the bull of Taurus (Ishtar). Well, Satan is the King of bullshitting, they must be married or related in some way.

Even this morning I see her in my minds eye looking at me disappointed. What the fuck!!!? I should be 10 times more disappointed and disgusted in her! Again, I am not falling for this trickery and manipulation anymore. Why is she doing these shitty things? Did Satan, that old cunt, place a bounty on my head?

All I wanted was a loyal loving romance with a woman that I could trust, not some faithless slut trying to kill me. Maybe it is now time for me to move on and find a human woman and seriously focus on repairing my life. Everything will probably get better once this horrible Goddess of Whoredom leaves.

For some reason, possibly a sadistic one, every single time I want us to progress in our relationship I feel something touching the right side of my neck. Is she some Vampire or something? For fuck sake, I hate that shit and she knows it. I am now closing myself off from her and this Goddess, they are just not worth it.

I continue reading about how all of these men got help from this apparent Goddess, whereas everytime she seems to try and assist me everything gets worse. In fact another reason as to why she may have looked at me disappointed (not that I give a fuck anymore) is because I refused to give myself to her in the dream I had last night and plus I feel as though I still belong to Jehovah. All this time it may have been about ownership, as in she is trying to own me, not in a romance way but a soul slavery way. Sounds like something the Leannan Sidhe used to do, enslave their lovers or some dumb shit like that. I just do not want to be the next victim to their demon traps and agendas.

Still, at this present time I can feel her touching me but I will not buy into this bullshit. It looks as though she came to me for a very malevolent reason, as though this is actually her job. Definitely no love anytime soon. Other women of the otherworld seem to only want sex, like this Goddess, like when one female of the otherworld said “I want to fuck”, me “fuck? How bout you fuck off!” I know that anybody who says these things is only interested in sex. I am looking for a loyal and loving romantic relationship. A relationship with good communication.

As I said earlier, my woman of the otherworld is just not that interested in me anymore, we are not having the times that we used to have. The nightmares are increasing. These are clear and present signs that she does not like me. What the fuck would I possibly have done? Loving her is hurting her? Perhaps she does not like nor appreciate loyalty, as though she dreads the idea of being faithful.

Another reason as to how I know that the Goddess and the female of the otherworld do not like me is how they pay allot more attention and effort to the other guys that talk about their experiences online. The only reason I can think as to why they still pay an interest in me is because I have a bounty imposed by Satan or that they view me as a trophy to be accomplished. All of this does make sense. When I try to come up with a list of how I know that they love me, the list is starving in comparison to the reasons of how they do not like me.

That would be the conclusion of that. If you want to know the dreams I had last night, just ask in the comments below. Cheers mates.